What's in a name?

I know that people have become more and more lazy these days. It’s quite apparent. Nowadays, one can have all sorts of “pleasures” that are simply entrepreneurial endeavors to capitalize on those not wanting to do what they should, or at least not to the fullest of their ability. Case in point, typing, who needs to read over your work when you have spell check, right? Another trend would be the whole “@” sign that is used. I assume that there is a good enough reason for the shortening of one of the smallest words in the English language from two letters to a 50% less figure of one. Of course, it should be noted that the @ sign is really intended to be used as an e-mail protocol but those lazy folk are a force to be reckoned with, why, people now use the @ sign regularly as an abbreviation of the word at. Shakespeare might have said something along the lines of “Maketh any sense?” I suppose if you’re a text messenger and need to save space, then yes, but our laziness shows more and more, like the cellulite the old ladies have at the beach.

The main purpose of all of this is me spotting a word in the newspapers. Now, this all points to celebrities, to be more specific, the putting together of two people’s names to make one word. I suppose you may have heard the whole “Beniffer” thing some time ago, and thanks to the amount of free yet negative publicity that Gigli got, you most likely did hear of it. While perusing the dailies, I came across the entertainment section where there was an article on the Hollywood Paparazzo’s newest targets, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Infuriating rumors of their togetherness are being flung around like poo at a monkey convention, but that’s beside the point. The point is, that by some stroke of “genius”, someone had to have come up with 1 word to describe them, namely Branjolina. (Brad + Angelina = Branjolina) As that cardboard scientist says in the beer commercials on FOX Sports, “BRILLIANT!”

Now, while I’m all for consolidation, I can’t help but think that this is just another stupid thing that Hollywood is doing. Technology is moving forward, balding men can regrow hair, mice can grow ears on their backs and Steven Segal is still getting work. Yes, technology today is full of wondrous things to help move mankind forward, but if people keep giving in to every single stupid thing that comes out of Hollywood, then please direct me to the nearest bridge. Wait, I retract what I just said, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” So I’ll do just that, join. I have decided to jump on the name consolidation bandwagon. Here’s an idea for you, Cher (Pronounced “share”) and Bradd Pitt should hook up. And what pray tell would the consolidated name be? Why, “Chitt” of course. (Cher + Pitt) Ah yes, make sure to keep all pronunciation intact. I can hear the announcers on Television now, gleefully spreading rumours on Chitt, and I suppose, in more ways than one, they might be doing just that.