School Days...

Isn’t it the greatest feeling in the world to prove someone wrong? You know, when someone’s totally berating you about something that you’ve “done” when in reality you didn’t even know something could be done, so far be it for you to have done it. Case in point; school. School is a treacherous place, where youths are sent to prepare for the real world, get this over hyped “education” thing as well as suffer the torment that is, criticism by one’s peers. I have fond memories of school, and by fond, I mean, the urge to get rid of them by sticking the Q-Tip down my ear canal as far as it can go and manually make myself unaware of such events ever existing. Tell me if this scenario doesn’t sound so familiar that you’d swear I was there to witness the events that moulded your adolescence, you’re sitting in a room, filled with 40 of future lawyers, doctors, crack addicts and hobos/drifters, when all of a sudden, WHAP!, you’re struck in some way, be it a generous slap to the back of the head, being flicked on the ear or a syringe is inserted to your neck and you’re injected with horse tranquilizers, it may vary depending on where your school is and what your culture considers acceptable, but its still something harmless and childlike like that, you now quickly turn around and not a soul knows what went on, so you go about your business until WHAP!, you’re either slapped, flicked or injected yet again.

Depending on how patient and/or retarded you are, you turn around and say something after the fourteenth time or so and aim the blame at someone who is just as innocent as you, some sort of Mike Tyson-esque ear chomping may ensue possibly and feelings may be hurt. You’ll feel like an idiot for pin pointing the wrong person and then get in trouble even though you’re just as innocent as the person whose ear you gorged on. Yeah, if you were the person who was sampled should feel really good because you ain’t done a thing, the person who chomped, i.e you, feel like crap, but that’s old school (no pun intended, unless it’s funny, in which case I totally intended it). Thinking more around the lines of being an adult/teenager, you may know how it is when someone might call you and start yelling at you. It may be your parents, a friend, your boss, or if you’re into recreational drug use, it may be a ballet dancing pirate with a hunchback speaking klingon, but whatever. Said person, upon your arrival, starts berating you for not picking up a paper or something of that matter, when in reality the person had never mentioned to you to do something, so in reality, you never had knowledge of said paper. Innocently state that you were not made privy to the information required to do said task, translation, “you’re an idiot because this problem is here only of your doing.” Now feel free to throw this in the person’s face or….something, or maybe sympathize, I don’t know, it can go either way, just be sure you come out feeling good, i.e. make them feel like idiots.