Muumuus make me irresistable to women, go figure.(Real Life 2)

Today was really super! I went to the mall today with the muumuu I bought at the Salvation Army, and WOW, this thing is a chick magnet, seriously! I was mighty hungry, so I looked around for sustenance. I found me a popcorn cart where there were many types of popcorns to choose from. I like popcorn. I wonder how popcorn came to be, I think popcorn should be given to all the people that don’t have popcorn so that they can have popcorn too, except for sick people, they tend to cough when they eat popcorn, and that’s annoying. Anyway, I decided to get the orange-ish popcorn which was really popcorn with cheese dust on it. I went up to the lady at the stall to buy the cheese popcorn and told her that my muumuu was new. “That’s nice, good for you.” She said, then she rolled her eyes. I think that’s really great sign, just like getting “the hand” and then kneed in the groin. I think she loves me, but has inhibitions that are preventing her from opening up to me. Wow, it must be tough to not be me.

I went down to the cosmetic place because I needed deodorant, I was smelling icky, not normal icky, more like walking into a porter potty that hasn’t been flushed 2 days after it was used at a baked bean convention icky. When I wore white shirts for the day and did my Jazzercise with Richard Simmons in the morning, under my arms would turn green, and it wouldn’t come out when I washed it, so I went online into the future janitorial engineer chat room, and the guys said that I should say I was playing a sport and people would think that it was a grass stain. Now when people ask about my green underarms, I say that I was either playing Ice Hockey, or chess, I tend to mix it up, I seem more athletic that way, but more importantly, that’s a bullet dodged!

So I entered into the cosmetic place where I met Cindy. I knew her name because it was written on her nametag and I had read it and that was how I knew. I went up to her and said “Hello Cindy” and she said hello back. Then I told her that I had known her name because it was written on her nametag and I had read it and that was how I knew. She looked at me funny, I think she was intimidated. Usually I think women just aren’t sure how to react when they meet me and I can relate, I once met a William Shatner look alike in a Star Trek convention last year and I barely was able to get anything out! How embarrassing! Cindy helped me get a new deodorant and mentioned something about bulk discount, she was sure helpful and obviously attracted to me because she was offering me bulk discounts! Today was cool! Gotta run!