Martin Sargents's G4 Profile.
It's still on the site, so this is for preservation purposes.
Martin Sargent (born Earl Sarmet) spent his earliest years traveling back and forth along the towpath of the mighty Erie Canal (mainly between Spencerport and Brockport). Because his gambler father refused to pay school taxes, Sargent was forced to work his way through elementary school by loading and unloading canal barges (primarily cases of sushi-grade carp harvested from the canal).
One night, at the age of 13, the barge upon which Sargent slept was untied from its moorings by some local toughs who had a beef with the plucky young docksman on account of his legendary relations with the local fishmonger's daughters. This incident launched a nightlong, Huck Finn-like journey culminating in Sargent's waking up when his barge was dashed upon the rocks off Manhattan.
The journey had just begun
Sargent traded his cargo of carp for a fancy new suit and 50 shillings and set out to make his fortune on the mean streets of New York. In no time, parlaying his street smarts and skill at nonverbal intimidation to his political advantage, Sargent found himself at the helm of one of Chinatown's toughest gangs, The Violinists.
As a gang leader, Sargent (gang name "Big Money") was afforded ample free time to study (and soon master) the powers of mind control and remote viewing. The CIA's squad of giant invisible robots soon recognized Sargent's "Street Fighter II"-like powers and whisked him away to their headquarters at the center of the Earth. It was there, as a slave of the US government, that Sargent was forced to learn how to breathe fire.
The adventure continued
Now a full-fledged member of Dick Cheney's Time Cop Corps, Sargent spent his late teen-age years battling communist space zombies who had escaped to our dimension from the places before time. Taking advantage of the Time Cop Corps' ROTC program, Sargent attended Cornell University, where he received a Bachelor's degree in English.
The degree was a ticket to landing an editorial assistant's position at one of the hottest technology product review magazines in the world, San Francisco-based PC/Computing. The key decision-makers at Ziff-Davis, the outrageously mismanaged company that owned PC/Computing, collectively got drunk and hopped up on goofballs during a team-building retreat and decided, while simultaneously having sex with their co-workers, to start a TV station about computers called ZDTV. Hurting (badly) for content, ZDTV made Sargent a frequent guest and eventually hired him as a fulltime on-air personality.
Years later, Microsoft co-founder and fellow Time Cop Corps member Paul Allen bought the channel and changed the name to TechTV. Using his powers of mind control, Sargent convinced the soft-headed managerial team to give him his own show, which was to be called "Unzipped." Sadly, "Unzipped" was the name of a Canadian gay porno magazine that didn't want to share, and "Unscrewed" was born.
In his spare time, Sargent likes cooking and travel.
Martin Sargent (born Earl Sarmet) spent his earliest years traveling back and forth along the towpath of the mighty Erie Canal (mainly between Spencerport and Brockport). Because his gambler father refused to pay school taxes, Sargent was forced to work his way through elementary school by loading and unloading canal barges (primarily cases of sushi-grade carp harvested from the canal).
One night, at the age of 13, the barge upon which Sargent slept was untied from its moorings by some local toughs who had a beef with the plucky young docksman on account of his legendary relations with the local fishmonger's daughters. This incident launched a nightlong, Huck Finn-like journey culminating in Sargent's waking up when his barge was dashed upon the rocks off Manhattan.
The journey had just begun
Sargent traded his cargo of carp for a fancy new suit and 50 shillings and set out to make his fortune on the mean streets of New York. In no time, parlaying his street smarts and skill at nonverbal intimidation to his political advantage, Sargent found himself at the helm of one of Chinatown's toughest gangs, The Violinists.
As a gang leader, Sargent (gang name "Big Money") was afforded ample free time to study (and soon master) the powers of mind control and remote viewing. The CIA's squad of giant invisible robots soon recognized Sargent's "Street Fighter II"-like powers and whisked him away to their headquarters at the center of the Earth. It was there, as a slave of the US government, that Sargent was forced to learn how to breathe fire.
The adventure continued
Now a full-fledged member of Dick Cheney's Time Cop Corps, Sargent spent his late teen-age years battling communist space zombies who had escaped to our dimension from the places before time. Taking advantage of the Time Cop Corps' ROTC program, Sargent attended Cornell University, where he received a Bachelor's degree in English.
The degree was a ticket to landing an editorial assistant's position at one of the hottest technology product review magazines in the world, San Francisco-based PC/Computing. The key decision-makers at Ziff-Davis, the outrageously mismanaged company that owned PC/Computing, collectively got drunk and hopped up on goofballs during a team-building retreat and decided, while simultaneously having sex with their co-workers, to start a TV station about computers called ZDTV. Hurting (badly) for content, ZDTV made Sargent a frequent guest and eventually hired him as a fulltime on-air personality.
Years later, Microsoft co-founder and fellow Time Cop Corps member Paul Allen bought the channel and changed the name to TechTV. Using his powers of mind control, Sargent convinced the soft-headed managerial team to give him his own show, which was to be called "Unzipped." Sadly, "Unzipped" was the name of a Canadian gay porno magazine that didn't want to share, and "Unscrewed" was born.
In his spare time, Sargent likes cooking and travel.
posted by samureye at 1:22 PM
1 Comments:
where the hell is marty now , find marty the search is on post any siteings help find marty now
Posted by burrhead
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